There’s a moment I won’t forget this week.

I’ve been doing much less court work recently. Since launching One Family Law, negotiation, discussion and out of court resolution has been more of a focus because of the One Couple One Solicitor approach. But today, I was reminded of what it feels like to stand beside a client walking into family court for the very first time. I’ve walked through those courthouse doors more times than I can count, but it had been a while. And in that moment, what struck me most wasn’t the grey, tired walls of the building or the formalities of the process — it was the look in my client’s eyes.

Fear. Vulnerability. Exhaustion.

Before we even reached the courtroom, the experience was already laced with stress. Metal detectors. Uniformed guards. Personal belongings turned over and rifled through. They were searched, literally and metaphorically on entry to this step into the unknown and the fear was palpable.  The legal system — even at its most professional — demands a kind of exposure that few are ready for. You surrender your phone, your watch, your sense of control. And, before long, your story.

Inside the courtroom, I watched them flinch as their life — a rich, complex, deeply human story — was reduced to case numbers, spreadsheets, and asset lists. A 20-year relationship spoken of in terms of equity and entitlements. Pensions. Property. There was no mention of love, sacrifice, or shared history. No line item for sleepless nights, career trade-offs, or the invisible labour of building a family.

And as the judge made decisions based on paperwork and abbreviated statements, my client looked to me. “How can someone who’s just met me decide so much about my life?”

There must be a better way. We shared a life; we used to be friends…

It’s a question I’ve heard before. And one that stays with me.

Family Court Doesn’t Deliver Winners — Only Survivors

The court system was never built for healing. It was built for resolution. But sometimes, resolution and repair are miles apart. As lawyers, even when the outcome is favourable on paper, we’re left wondering: at what cost?

Because behind every “successful” settlement, there’s often heartbreak. Behind every judgment, there’s usually a family left grappling with grief, change, and loss. The Judge doesn’t know them. Can’t know them. There’s no time for nuance, nor the full story. They assess, assume and decide. My client looks to me for reassurance. I do what I can but I know just what they’re feeling. The system is built for facts and resolution, not healing and sometimes these could not be further apart.

Some think lawyers grow numb to it all. That we toughen up. But many of us don’t. We remember. We carry these stories with us — the co-parents trying to rebuild trust, the partner who gave everything and is now starting over, the families who feel dismantled by a process that was supposed to bring clarity.

There Is a Better Way

We set up One Family Law because we believe in a more human, more hopeful approach. One that doesn’t ask people to strip their lives bare before a stranger. One that honours the emotional complexity of families, rather than reducing them to file notes.

We focus on negotiation, mediation, and out-of-court resolution — especially through our pioneering One Couple, One Solicitor model. We work with couples jointly, helping them navigate separation constructively and respectfully.

It’s not about “winning.” It’s about solving problems together, not setting up battlegrounds. It’s about preserving dignity, especially when everything else feels like it’s falling apart.

Because families deserve more than a fight — they deserve a future.

If you’re looking for a better path forward, we’re here to walk it with you.